Good morning, good afternoon, good night — whatever time you're listening to this. Welcome to another episode!

The last few episodes I've shared with you have been a lot around attraction, the Liberated Lover Method, and the way that I help my clients attract their ideal relationships — to design them, to attract the lovers they want to live it with. There’s just been a lot of methodology around it, right?

So, I thought it would be time for something very practical.
(Not that the method isn’t practical — it very much is!)
But a lot of what we talk about inside our coaching program, and what I talk about with my clients, is also about education and tools for consensuality and dating and everything that comes with that.

Today, let's talk about three icebreakers — three things you can implement into your dates to make everything so much more fun, effortless, and less stressful. Because honestly, I know the struggle of the dating game.
I hated going on dates for such a long time.

Especially if you're going on dates through a dating app, that switch — the transition into seeing each other in real life — can be kind of awkward.

There are two options:

• Stop using dating apps and meet people in real life (which I can highly recommend), or

• Implement these tools to make it a little bit easier.

1. Offer a Massage

This first one is my favorite: massage.

But it has to be a very tantric approach.
If you're proposing a massage to someone just to get laid, then this won’t work for you.

A big part of what I teach — and what really lands with my clients — is not being needy toward a specific outcome, especially when it comes to sex.
We don't want to put off the other person by being needy or pursuing them in a way that feels forced.
We don't want anything to feel like a desperate attempt for things to escalate into something sexual.

If you can practice offering a massage — especially if you genuinely enjoy it — without needing it to lead somewhere, it can be a beautiful way for things to get more physical.

I love when I can get out of my head and into my body when I massage the other person or they massage me. When I propose this to someone after a nice date, and I feel like, “Okay, I would like to just be closer to you and be more somatic with you,” I'll suggest giving them a massage.

I'll just say:

"I don't want this to go anywhere. I don't need you to do anything. I don't need this to become sexual. That's not why I'm asking. I just want to give you this. How do you feel about that?"

There are very few people who will say no to that — because honestly, how nice is it to receive a massage, right?

It’s a great way to connect, to feel into how their body feels, and to notice how they respond to your touch.

Especially when I used to do a lot of erotic bodywork, tantric massage, and erotic massage — touch can do a lot.
There’s so much our touch can communicate.

Once you really get a feel for what your touch does to another person, and you get to read their body, that’s a skill you can develop. You can get very good at it.

When this new dimension of touch becomes part of your dynamic, there’s a lot of information you can pick up:

• Do I feel safe with this person?

• Do they feel safe with me?

• Are we compatible?

• Do we like each other's touch?

There’s valuable information to be gained.
And getting out of your head and into your body breaks a lot of the ice.

When we’re still stuck in that phase before anything becomes somatic or body-focused, it’s really easy to overthink everything.
So if you're an overthinker, this is a great practice for you — especially if it challenges you a little.
(If you feel resistant to it, it's a sign it could really help!)

Also, because you're initiating something physical — instead of waiting around — it's very attractive.
It's attractive to know what you want, to offer something, and to serve.

This is definitely my favorite. It’s something I do very often — both with people I’m newly dating and those I’ve been dating longer.
I keep doing it, and it’s beautiful. I love it.

2. Organize an Active Date

The second tool to break the ice is to actually organize the date.
Actually plan something you can do together.

I cannot tell you how much I hate meeting up with someone and just sitting there like,

"Oh, we're just going to sit here. Oh, we're just going to have dinner."

Worst-case scenario for me — seriously.

First of all, I don't like to eat my food and share that space with someone I don't really know yet.
Dinner is really important to me, and I’m not just going to compromise that for someone I don't know well.

Also, sitting across from someone at dinner can be so awkward.
How many times have you been in a situation thinking, "Oh my god, this dinner is going to drag on for another hour and I just want to go home"?

It’s happened a lot to me — and I don't want that anymore.

Instead: make an actual plan for your date that involves doing something physical:

• Go outside.

• Go for a hike.

• Play mini golf.

(One time I did Maastricht golf with a date — that was super fun!)

Same thing with movies: you just sit there in the dark.
How are you allowing yourself or the other person to relax and feel comfortable when you’re not even interacting?

I'm not saying it doesn't work for some people — it does.
But if you want other ways to create a great date experience, do something.

When you’re doing something — when you’re active, in your body, and focused on an activity — it’s way easier to be yourself.
It’s easier to see if you click naturally.

And it’s okay if you find out, "Oh, we don’t really click."
That’s important information too!

Get out there, get real answers, find compatibility, and develop your connection skills.

3. Spark Deep Conversations (Use a Card Deck)

The third tool: bring a deck of conversation cards.

This is absolutely not sponsored — but I have this deck from Seek Discomfort (by Yes Theory) that I love.
If you know them, they’re awesome. You’ve probably seen their YouTube videos.

They’re these guys who are all about seeking discomfort — doing wild things like:

• Talking to strangers

• Proposing spontaneous trips across the world with strangers

• Going into “dangerous” cities to see what it's really like — all these crazy things

They have a webshop where you can buy their card deck.
The one I have is called Spark Card Game.

I’m literally googling it right now while recording this.
On their website, one of the sample questions is:

"When was the last time you truly felt alive?"

Another example:

"Are you an introvert or extrovert? Explain."

Another:

"If your favorite YouTube channel offered you the trip of your dreams, where would you go?"

These are really deep, good questions — and they make for amazing conversation starters.
Not just for dates — also for getting to know friends or new people when you’re traveling!

I like to take the deck with me, especially when I travel, because I love getting to know people that way.
It’s so much better than surface-level small talk.

Especially if you’ve already done something active like a hike, and you want to open up a little deeper — this is perfect.
Because dating is essentially about:

• Can you open up to each other?

• Can your hearts match?

• What are you creating together?

And asking great questions is a huge part of that.

If you want to check it out: it's the Spark Card Game by Seek Discomfort.
Highly, highly recommend it. It’s super fun.

Final Thoughts

So that's a quick episode for you — three tools that can help break the ice when you're out on a date.

And remember:
When you’re dating, please take the pressure off.
You’re just being curious. You’re just meeting people. That's all.

I wish I could have told this to my younger self — the one who felt like dating was the worst thing in the world.
(And hey, sometimes I still do.)

But once dating became more somatic for me — once I learned to stay in my body and not just overthink — it got so much more fun and less stressful.
And I wish that for you too.

Let me know what resonated with you!
If you try any of these tips, DM me on Instagram.
I'd love to hear about it.

See you next week.
Ciao!